By on October 24, 2017

Confidence is my own personal Sasquatch. Despite many sightings, I have spent a lot of time wondering if it really exists.

I think we can all agree that confidence is a universally desired attribute. After all, it seems to affect almost every part of life… that’s a big deal.

My epic journey to finding confidence has been a mostly uphill battle. For reference:

I know that my story is not a unique one. My lack of comfort with myself held me back a lot, and the times when my own personal Sasquatch did grace my presence, it felt fleeting. It felt like we were dancing on a balance beam together, knowing that the slightest wind, misstep or loss of balance was enough to take us down, back into the murky pool of “not good enough.”

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) confidence is one of those things that has to come from within, you have to fight for it since it can’t just be handed over. This year has been one of great growth and after 29 years of being me, I finally feel like my feet have become heavier, and that I can stand firmly in who I am. *throws confetti in celebration*

I am not an expert (hence 29 years), but I want to share some ideas that have helped me. Here are five things I have been focusing on this year to help confidence take off its super hip jacket and stay awhile.

1. Live authentically.

Easier said than done, but I believe that confidence is waiting on the other side of the obstacle. Wear what you want to wear, don’t worry about what people will think of that new hobby, stand up for something you are passionate about. Be the person you need yourself to be, it feels way better than trying to be someone else.

2. Fear of rejection is a bitch, don’t listen to her.

Rejection is an uncomfortable part of life but once you become comfortable with it, I think big things can happen. TBD on where this takes me, I am taking baby steps towards telling this fear to get lost.

3. Take action.

Taking action feels a lot better than letting your dreams sit in the slow cooker. Start that project you have been thinking about for months (maybe years?), apply for that job you have been considering, make a big life change if you want one. Risks are scary but so is the regret of not taking a chance and going for it. I wrote down this quote from Dale Carnegie to remind myself often that “inaction breeds doubt and fear, action breeds confidence and courage.”

4. Be nice to yourself.

I have heard and read this so many places, it has to be right. Talk to yourself the way that you would a friend who you love. Most of us spend a lot of time wading through our own negative thoughts: I should have done better, I wish I was thinner, smarter, prettier, I’m not good enough, etc. I have seen this referred to as mental hygiene and I think it is so important. We brush our teeth and our hair (okay, sometimes I skip that one), but we aren’t given the tools to care for these crazy minds of ours. BE NICE. Take a break, be positive, rest, treat yo self. You are worthy, beautiful and amazing.

5. Give back.

This could fall under item 3 and maybe 1, but I think it is important enough to be its own thought. Most people like the idea of giving back, volunteering at a school or working on a service project in your community. When you consistently give back, it makes everything more meaningful. Identify a resource that you have to give (time, money, knowledge, hugs, whatever) and put it into action. Living with integrity is a really good feeling and one that feeds confidence.

Wishing you a kick-ass Wednesday,

  1. Reply

    Nicole S.

    October 25, 2017

    Loving and appreciating all of this ??

    ‘I don’t like to gamble, but if there’s one thing I’m willing to bet on, it’s myself.’ -Queen Bey

  2. Reply


    October 25, 2017

    Yas girl!!! Loved this post and am proud of you for doing this. Personally number 4 is my demon. How is it so instinctual to be kind and nice to the ones you love… except for yourself.

    Keep kickin’ butt!

  3. Reply

    Wendy Clough

    October 25, 2017

    Love this. I have struggled with this my entire life. Being nice to yourself is so overlooked – and really difficult to do sometimes – but it’s something to always be mindful of.

  4. Reply

    Robin Stetler

    October 29, 2017

    I love love love this Steph! You are an amazing woman, and a great role model for so many young people (and oldies of us too). Men and women, this applies to all. Loving your Blog and love you! xoxoxo

  5. Reply


    November 8, 2017

    LOVE this Steph! And saw the quote on your desk the other day and LOVE that too. Thinking I want one for my own! 🙂



Professional lover of stories, the harmonica, goats and burritos. Constantly daydreaming about living in the country, ice cream and decorating. Inspired by beautiful writing, the PNW, Beyonce and kindness. I'm guaranteed to have hearts in my eyes when the lighting is just right and am totally in love with my beau named Beau, who I found in the middle of fall, my favorite season. I sleep in my makeup, grew up on grunge music, embrace imperfection and am pretty excited about the gift of waking up every morning with choice to kick butt and love every minute of this wild ride.


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